My friend went to MegaCon and got John DiMaggio to give me a shout-out as Aquaman. It was fucking hilarious.
“Max, I hope you get trampled by a whale. HAHA! Yes indeed, a big old sperm whale!”
“Hey, you hear what happened to Max, bro? He got trampled a sperm whale, man. Heavy duty brother. Wow.”
Tumblr doesn’t let you respond to responses to your posts. I don’t know why. I think it’d be useful.
In response to my Top 10 New 52 Books post, Sophisticated Lion asked the following:
Loved the list! Especially glad to see someone else enjoying Justice League other than myself. Curious what your feelings are in regards to Johns’ work on Aquaman.
I really wanted to like Aquaman, but I just can’t get into it. To Johns’ credit, he writes the character really well, and I absolutely adore how he portrays Aquaman’s wife. If I can say one thing about Geoff Johns, it’s that I love the way the dude writes couples. Arthur and Mera are tied with Hal and Carol for my favorite couple in the DCU, the latter also being written by Johns. The Aquaman segments of Brightest Day were my favorite parts of the series, with the exception of the Deadman stuff.
I liked the first few issues, and all the stuff with how Arthur relates to the surface world. Aquaman #1 is definitely in my top five issues #1s from the New 52, thanks to the scene in the seafood restaurant. But the events of Aquaman are just really, really boring. I tried really hard, but I couldn’t bring myself to care about the plot, or the stuff with Atlantis, or Dr. Shin, or the others, or Black Manta. Hell, I didn’t even care about the trench, and that was from the issues I was actually enjoying! It was just really lame.
Geoff Johns usually writes really good stories, so the fact that the story he’s telling in Aquaman bores me is really disappointing. It’s not even like Green Lantern, or Justice League, where I can see it building up to something: I really couldn’t bring myself to care at all, and believe me, I tried. Thankfully, Aquaman is still in Justice League, and the fact that Johns seems to be shaping him up to become the leader of the team makes me really happy, so I can still get my Aquaman fix from that book.
So a while back I entered the “I Am DC’s Biggest Fan” Contest over on Reddit. I won second place with this entry. Today, I got my prizes. Here’s me unboxing them:
I made this video for the “I Am DC Comics’ Biggest Fan!” contest on /r/DCComics. It won second place, and now I’m sharing it here. This video will explain why I’m so obsessed with DC Comics.
If you’re not in the know, one of the big characters in DC’s New 52 is a mysterious hooded woman named Pandora.
I’m amazed. A female DC character not in a slutty outfit.
In the past few months, we’ve come to know a bit about Pandora. She did open Pandora’s box and unleash evils onto the world. She, along with the Phantom Stranger and The Question, were cursed by an ancient society of wizards to wander eternity as an observer of the new world that she has wrought. Those three characters make up the Trinity of Sin, and will be playing a very large part in the New 52’s first major crossover event, the Trinity War.
She’s not bad with guns either.
But interest in Pandora was drummed up when people started noticing her at the very beginning of the New 52. And that’s the genius part. Pandora has actually appeared in every single Issue #1 of every book in the New 52, even in Wave 2. I myself own 13 Issue #1s, so I figured I’d share what I was able to find on my own here.
Aquaman #1:
This was actually the hardest one to find, and I had to comb the book twice to find it. Pandora is watching Aquaman in a seafood restaurant.
Batman #1:
I figured Pandora would be pretty easy to find in Batman books, since she kind of sticks out in Gotham City’s aesthetic. And indeed, she was. Pandora appears on the very first page of the book, trying to keep warm with some hobos.
Batman and Robin #1:
This is the interesting thing about the human attention span. Here you have a hooded, glowing figure at a swimming pool, just standing around, and the first few times I read this book, I never noticed it, because I was just paying attention to the story.
That said, I find the fact that they chose to put her just standing there at a swimming pool really funny, especially because her robe kind of resembles a poncho in this picture.
Blue Beetle #1:
This is the genius of Pandora. They either put her in crowd shots, which you could glance over and miss her, her glowing to stick out being the only thing that would make you notice her, or they put her off to the side, where you could easily miss her. They make it so that she can be found, and pretty easily at that, but only if you’re paying attention.
DC Universe Presents #1:
This is my favorite, because of how wonderfully deceiving it is. Who would think the hooded woman ISN’T supposed to be among all the circus folk?
Demon Knights #1:
I’m kind of disappointed in how easy this was to find, because I figured that in a comic taking place in Arthurian fantasy, Pandora would just blend in, making her really hard to find. Then again, maybe that’s WHY they made it so easy to find her.
Green Lantern #1:
Pandora observing Hal being insecure. You really gotta wonder how people don’t notice the magical glowing lady in arcane robes walking down the street.
Green Lantern Corps #1:
One of the things that I assumed about the Green Lantern books is that if there’s a scene where it takes place on Earth, Pandora will be in it, and won’t appear on Oa. The thing is, Pandora is a magical immortal, yes, but she’s a magical immortal belonging to Earth. Whether she’s been beyond the stars or not is hard to say, but I’m guessing it probably hasn’t happened. Maybe she appears in space in New Guardians or Red Lanterns, but I don’t read those, so I don’t know.
Justice League #1:
I love the fact that she’s just sitting down, watching a football game. I mean, it’s Cyborg’s football game, and she obviously knows how important he’s going to be, but it’s still amusing to me.
Justice League Dark #1:
She’s just standing there, by a barn. And it’s not even one of the scenes involving the main characters of the book!
O.M.A.C. #1:
Pandora observes the chaos that goes down at Cadmus.
Swamp Thing #1:
It’s times like this where I wonder if Pandora is invisible to people, or if she’s just hiding behind that truck, because the concept of the latter is really funny for some reason.
World’s Finest #1:
OH SURE GUYS, A FIRE BROKE OUT, NOBODY PAY ATTENTION TO THE HOODED WOMAN WITH RUNES ON HER FACE, NOTHING SUSPICIOUS HERE. (I know, the fire’s not her fault, but come on!)
So I really enjoy playing Civiilzation V. I’d enjoy it even more if it STOPPED FUCKING CRASHING IN TURN 7 EVER SINCE THE GODDAMN EXPANSION PACK UPDATE. So, in lieu of actually playing Civilization, I took a look at the Steam Workshop stuff in it. And I got to thinking, could people mod in whole new civilizations? Sure, Genghis Khan, Kamehameha, and Ghandi are all fun to nuke people with, but could I be added to the game?
With a leader this glorious, Manifest Destiny suddenly becomes all but a certainty.
But, better than that, what if we could mod civilizations led by superheroes into the game? Yeah, now you see where I’m going with this. Let’s play Sid Meier’s Civilization: Justice League Edition!
What I’m doing is picking a civilization and a hero to lead it. Each hero will get one of those pompous intros all of the historical leaders get in the game, as well as two unique units and a special ability. Just for fun, I’m also adding one World Wonder per character, though I don’t think I’ll be able to come up with each one’s effect. Obviously, I’m not a game designer, so these probably aren’t going to be well balanced, so them’s the breaks.
Gotham City:
Leader: Batman
“All are wary of you, Batman, oh great Dark Knight. You are the world’s greatest detective, a master of both your own mind and body. Tragedy befell you when you were young, but you have used that tragedy to rise and become one of the human race’s greatest assets. Able to go toe-to-toe with gods and monsters, you are the pinnacle of what humanity can achieve.
You are vengeance. You are the night. You are the one who must lead Gotham City to glory. She is your city, your protectorate. Will you protect your fellow Gothamites from the madness that threatens them? Will you and your vast network of allies show the world what the human race is capable of? Will you build a civilization to stand the test of time?”
Unique Units:
-Young Ward (Replaces Infantry): Gains attack bonuses against all land units, even superior ones.
-Batmobile (Replaces Modern Armor): Same as modern armor, but can move 8 spaces in one turn instead of 5.
Ability: WayneTech R&D
-Destroyed units return a gain in science.
World Wonder: The Bat-Signal
Metropolis:
Leader: Superman
“Glory to the Superman, visitor from beyond the stars. The last son of a dying world, you derive great power from our yellow sun, and generously use this power to help those who cannot help themselves. The most powerful man in the world, if not the universe, you have never wanted to rule, but all appreciate your guidance nonetheless.
You are the protector of Metropolis, the greatest city in the world, the pinnacle of humanity’s collective achievements. For years, you’ve kept it safe from decay, but now is time for something different. Will you use your great power to help Metropolis advance even further? Will your standing for truth, justice, and liberty for all lead Metropolis into a new golden age? Will you build a civilization to stand the test of time?”
Unique Units:
-Alien Cousin (Replaces Jet Fighter): Has heavier defense than normal Jet Fighter.
-One-Man Workforce (Replaces Worker): Works faster than normal Workers.
Ability: Super Senses
-All units have increased sight.
World Wonder: The Fortress of Solitude
Themyscira:
Leader: Wonder Woman
“Hail Princess Diana of Themyscira, the Wonder Woman. Oh champion of the noble Amazons, you have left paradise to come to man’s world, to save man from all of his evils. You are the champion of women everywhere, a diplomat, a public speaker, a symbol, a hero.
You have fought alongside the rest of the world’s champions, fighting for love, equality, and truth. Can you spread these things to man’s world? Will you use your power to turn it into a utopia? Will you build a civilization to stand the test of time?”
Unique Units:
-Amazonian Archer (Replaces Archer): A powerful, early game unit. Bonus damage against cities.
-Invisible Jet (Replaces Stealth Bomber): Has increased evasion.
Ability: Island Town: Cities have increased defense against naval attacks.
World Wonder: Clay Woman
Oa:
Leader: Hal Jordan
“Stand attention for Green Lantern 2814, Hal Jordan of Earth. When a dying visitor from another world landed on Earth, he chose you to be his successor as a Green Lantern, intergalactic law-enforcer with great willpower. Through your will and ability to overcome great fear, you’ve fought and won battles most men would flee from. Time and time again, you’ve proven yourself in battle, against supervillains, alien warlords, enemy armies, and death itself. You are not just one of Earth’s greatest champions, but the universe’s.
For a long time you have fought in an army, but now you must lead one. Can you lead the world through its hardships, both in brightest day, and blackest night? Can you use Green Lantern’s might to make something lasting? Will you build a civilization to stand the test of time?”
Unique Units:
-Drill Sergeant (Replaces Great General): If sacrificed next to a combat unit, will upgrade that unit instead of building a fortress.
-Honor Guard (Replaces Surface to Air Missiles): Bonus damage against closer enemy units.
Ability: Willpower: Units near-death do extra damage.
World Wonder: Central Power Battery
Atlantis:
Leader: Aquaman
“Hail Arthur Curry, Aquaman, king of Atlantis. Born to an Atlantean mother and a surface-dwelling father, you have had to overcome adversity and discrimination to rise to power as rightful ruler of your underwater society. A mighty ruler, you have always defended your home from those who would wish to bring harm to it, both from outside and inside threats. You have even left your home to help defend the surface world alongside its greatest champions, and taken your place as one of the world’s greatest heroes.
Oh noble son of land and sea, it is time for Atlantis to grow. Will you raise your people out of the water to show them what the rest of the world has to offer? Will you show the surface world what Atlantis has to offer? Will you build a civilization to stand the test of time?”
Unique Units:
-Atlantean Worker (Replaces Worker and Work Boat): Can improve tiles on both land and sea.
-Atlantean Sorcerer (Replaces Musketman): Can battle on both land and sea.
Ability: Ocean Masters: All units can traverse water.
World Wonder: I got nothing. Sorry.
These are the ones I can think of. I was going to try something for The Flash and Martian Manhunter, but I’m just kind of tapped out. Maybe another time.
